Quilting, stitching, crocheting


Friday, October 8, 2010

Hello !

When I first started blogging several months ago, I met a few people who were making efforts to be real and be honest in their blogging.  They really touched my heart and their words were inspiring to me.  That is part of why I started blogging.  But here I am facing the choice .... shall I be honest about who I am right now or not. Then I came I came across a blogger (new to me) who was being frankly honest and it truly affected me.  So here it goes .....

I have struggled at my job as an RN for a very long time because the demands of the job were becoming greater and greater ....  because of health issues I am limited in what I can and cannot do, but as business was growing my ability to keep pace has not.  I like what I do and I am good at my job (I should be good at it as I have been doing it for over 30 yrs !!!)  I have worked most of my life ....

Here I am having to decide if I can keep working or not.  Do I retire or should I go on disability? Maybe I just need to take a medical leave of absence. When do I do this?  I really wanted to make it at least thru to the end of the year ... that is what I was developing as my plan.  But maybe I am just giving up too soon, maybe I am not not trying hard enough, maybe if I get more organized or cut my hours and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.  After all I should count myself fortunate just to have a job in this economy ..... yadda yadda yadda yadda ....

And then the bursitis in my hip flared up again ... worse than ever.  I couldn't take off right away because the other full time RN was on vacation.  By the time I stopped working the pain was excruciating and I was more exhausted than I usually am.  So now I am home for 2 weeks, going to Physical Therapy, on pain meds 3x stronger than what I was on and barely able to even sew on the quilts.  It is the end of my first week home and the progress I have made is that I realize that I need more than 2 weeks ..... now what?

I think it helps just to write this. I need to keep praying and stick a rod up my butt and be strong enough to face reality !!!  That's what .... :-)


  1. Joanne-
    Your comment humbled me, the idea of something that I might have said touched someone else.
    I don't know if you have realized it or not, but it's not the physical pain or suffering that gets you down. It's the mental part. You will be surprised to find where your inner strength will come.
    You need to grieve the losses- just like if someone so close to had died. Only at the end of the grieving will you find acceptance. But that doesn't mean you ever stop fighting. Every morning you make the decision to get up or lay there.
    If you don't know God- find Him now. He will carry you when you can't do it alone.
    You need to find 2-3 super positive, happier than crap people to talk to every day. Throw away the ones that are the complainers. Surround yourself with those who you would like to be.
    You can draw off of their energy, literally.
    Surround yourself with happy things- and take time each day to get rid of the stress.
    Start a journal- and each day right down 5 things you are thankful for. It will train you to find the best parts of the day.
    The best RN I have ever talked to is one that sits on her butt every day. She calls people and talks with them about what's going on with them and how to make the most of their doctor visits. She works for my insurance company.
    You will not have to change who you are- just how you do it.
    You will be in my prayers- blessings and hugs- Tete

  2. Oh dear Joanne, I'm sorry to hear you are not doing well. The most important is that you are true to yourself, and don't forget listen to your intuition! How you describe your health, it seems to me you'll never be like 20 again! If you don't have to work - for the paycheck each month - why don't you retire? I don't know your age, but life is more than just working, isn't it? Wishing you good luck in your choice for the future! Hugs

  3. Astrid stated my thoughts perfectly!!! Your are more than your pay check! You have helped many with your work and that will be your reward! Praying for your choices you must make!
    Hope you feel better soon~~~

  4. Oh, Dear! Originally I would have said, stay until the end of the year - so that you could keep to your plan. But if your body is starting to protest, rather go with what you NEED rather than what you WANT. Slow down your pace, retire if you need to. Get rest so that you body, mind and spirit can rest as well, and then take on a new, less intense, interest.
    Sometimes you need to push yourself to the limit, other times the limit needs to come closer to you...(if that makes sense to you)

  5. Wow Joanne, my heart goes out to you. This is a difficult decision for you, I know. Have you thought of a different position? I am looking into in house hospice...a bit different then my ER job. I want to keep being a nurse, not a "used to be", you know what I mean. I think another thing you might think of is teaching. In a school or as a education nurse at a hospital or clinic.

    I would encourage you to take 6 months off and look into all your choices. Talk to others who have taken disability, what do they have to pay for back up insurance?

    I am so sorry that you have to face this difficult decision, it really sucks. Now, since you're home on sick time, start cranking those quilts out! And if you don't, I CAN find Cali and I WILL haunt you! If I were there, I would give you a big hug and bottle of wine to share! I am so glad you have brought this up, now I just need to get my butt in gear and start thinking like you! Virtual hugs to ya, Elaine

  6. I sure hope you can figure things out....it is not easy.

  7. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a rough time. I understand just what you're saying about not being able to sew when you have the hip problems. I have bursitis in my hip and have found that cortisone shots help. Has your doctor suggested or tried the shots?

    I can't give advice on whether or not you should stay, retire or go on disability. I will be praying for you and hope you'll update so that we know you're okay.

  8. I`m so sorry you feel bad.Being a nurse requires alot out of your body.The hospitals & nursing homes work you sometimes 16 hours in a row,at least they did where I had worked.I think your body is answering for you.Being on disability is no shame,you`ve worked hard & you deserve it.I know how hard it is to decide.I was lucky in a way,tho,they decided for me,you can`t perform your job description,you are out.I worked for the state of Pa.tho,I retired & got my disability pension early{no one tells you these things,I would have retired sooner if I had known}.I still carry insurance with my meds & my dh`s meds,& eventually got medicare due to disability.It is depressing,too,when you are used to always working,then find you can`t.Your work friends are your family & sometimes they aren`t there for you as they continue on being busy working,& that is hard to face too.I`m saying a prayer for you,phylliso

  9. Oh, my...that is some choice. I would say listen to your body, but I know there are often financial issues, too. Pray for guidance? Look around and see what you are being drawn towards and maybe leaving the old path won't seem so hard?

    Blogging can be a great tool for sorting things out...glad I stumbled by :-)

    PS...I'm a quilter, too :-)


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